Had to Reach a Low Point Sometime...

So the last two hays have been pretty crappy. Yesterday I didn't work, so I slept in. At least, I tried to sleep in. Its so freezing, and I have such little blankets (hardly blankets) that I keep waking up every half hour or so shivering. Its just been getting colder and colder. I eventually got up and emailed a few people about appointments to view apartments. I got ready and made plans with my friend Palmer to go see a movie. He picked me up and we went to Honest Ed's so I could see about buying a cheap blanket. I couldn't afford a blanket, so I improvised and instead bought a $5 giant hoodie and a $3 pair of huge fleece sweatpants to keep me warm while I sleep. It was off to the movie theater from there, and we went to see Milk. This movie was amazing!! If you haven't seen it, please do! One of the best movies I've seen in a long time. After the movie, I get a text from the girl I'm staying with curently, and she says she's having one of her guy friends stay over. I'm annoyed at the lack of notice since its already midnight and I was planning on going straight home to sleep since I worked the next morning. I didn't want to complain though cause its her house, and she's nice enough to let me stay. So I just got Palmer to take me to his place in Burlington since it was too late to find a friend in the city to stay with for the night. Unfortunatly, I was woken up at closer to 10am, than the 9:30am that was discussed, and I needed time to shower so I didn't go into work looking like a slob. I called work and asked if it would be ok that I come in at noon instead of 11am. I didn't think this would be an issue because its been slow at the shop and they need to cut hours where they can. Unfortunately for me, the girl I was staying with ALSO called in and asked to come in late. I'm pretty sure work was ticked that we both called in to come late, so I then got a phone call telling me my shift was cancelled. FUCK. I really needed those hours, and it was a 10 hour shift I lost. All because I didn't want to lay awake all night listening to two people fucking, like I had to last time. I REALLY need my own apartment. I'm tired of being kept up, woken up, and stepped all over. I want to go to work, come home to quiet, go to bed early, repeat. I then got really depressed thinking about my living situation and how losing that shift was gona hurt come pay day, and mostly how I felt extremely guilty for having let my work down. I love my job, and everyone there. I always feel extremely anxious and beat myself up if I feel like I've dissapointed them in some way. Anyways, feeling depressed, I went back to sleep and just slept till 4pm. Palmer then woke me up and drove me home. Girl I'm staying with texted and said she was staying with her mom for the weekend, so I was at least grateful for the alone time. I went right back to sleep when I got home. It is now 10:50pm and I haven't eaten a single thing, not that I'm even hungry. I'm stressed. I got a text message from my boyfriend, making it clear he isn't in detox like he said he would be. I feel angry and humiliated. I got so much crap from a lot of people when I got back together with him after what happened over the holidays. I reassured them and defended him by saying things would be different. That he was getting the help he needed. Well don't I look like a fool. Another promise broken. I can't even get a hold of him to ask why. Again, my heart is broken and I feel let down. So this brings me to now. This very second. I'm going to go back to sleep, for that is all I can really do. I need to go back to work tomorrow and put on a happy face. It seems impossible now, but I know it'll be ok once I get there. I'm so thankful to have a job that I really love, with people I really love and care about. They always make me smile. Ok, well....goodnight.